Morning Honey

Growing up, my mom made us watch a lot of old television shows. Andy Griffith, The Waltons, and Leave it to Beaver were on regular programming at our house. One of my favorite episodes of The Andy Griffith Show is when this married couple goes to Andy to seek counseling because they can't get along. And what does the wise sheriff suggest they do? Well talk nice to each other of course!

He instructs them to start their morning with a nice greeting. "Morning honey." "Morning dear." It takes the couple several mornings to get used to this, but it eventually changes the way they treat each other.

In the movie "Fireproof," the main character (Caleb...not my hubby, a different one) receives a book from his dad called The Love Dare. This book offers different challenges for each day during a 40 day period. Can you guess what the first dare is? You got it. Don't speak anything negative to your spouse. Sounds simple. But it's not.

Shouldn't I be nicest to my husband and close friends/family? Shouldn't they have priority over the random people we see at the grocery store/utility office/any place with customer service? I'm humiliated to say that I will be OVERLY nice and smiley (is that even a word?) to a clerk that I don't even know, and then turn around and snap at my hubby. For no reason at all. I speak to him worse than I do a stranger. And it's not just him...I do this to my family and friends as well. Ridiculous.

I'm tired of being hateful. I like to think that I'm a pretty nice person and easy to get along with (hold the ego down now). So today, I'm trying out that "speak nicely" part of the dare. I think it can change the way I treat the ones that I love.

Will you join me?

3 Requirements for Effective Goal Setting

I am such a list person. I have mentioned here before about how my hubby laughs at me for making so many lists. (crossing "write blog post" off the list now...)

Along with my love of lists comes a love of making goals. I like to make a goal so that I can accomplish them. Checking it off my list makes me feel like I did something. In the past, my goals have been all over the place as far as content goes. But I have recently learned more about making better goals. Here are three requirements for effective goal-setting:

1. Make it relevant- You don't want to set a goal to lose weight if you are already healthy. It just doesn't make sense to waste your mental or physical energy on such a task. You also wouldn't make a goal to become a professional football player if you have never touched a pigskin in your entire life. Be smart about what goals you want to make. Don't make a goal just for the sake of having a goal. Make it one that is relevant to your life.

2. Make it measurable- This is such an overlooked aspect of goal setting. How many people have you heard say "Oh, I want to lose some weight"? This is a big no, no. You need to have a measurable goal. Instead, you could rephrase that statement into "I want to lose 10 pounds." You know what you are trying to accomplish. You have something with which you can gauge your improvement.

3. Make it have a due date- This goes along with #2. Not only should you have a measurable goal, but you need to give yourself a "I need to have this done by _____" date. The people that say they want to lose some weight never do because the goal is not measurable and it does not have a due date. Due dates give you an end point. They give you the final destination of your goal. I can't overstate the importance of having a due date. They are THAT crucial.

I always like to make goals at the beginning of each month and have them due at the end of the month. For example, I want to have a consistent job by the end of the month. I want to lose 5 lbs this month. But I also have made other goals with a due date farther along, such as I want to read the Help by the movie release day. (note to self: look up when the movie comes out...could affect when I accomplish this goal)

Goals keep us focused. They keep us going down the right path to our accomplishments. They give us something to aim for.

I hope this helps you to make better goals for the month of August.
What are some of your goals?

How to Do Anything

I recently watched this TED video about a guy who decided he would different things for 30 days, a la Morgan Spurlock. (Here's the video).

The whole theme of the video is that you can do anything if you say "I'll try ________ for 30 days." How simple, yet effective. Think of something (doesn't have to be difficult, although it can be) that you've always wanted to do. Now do it for 30 days. That's it. You can quit on day 31 if you want to. But I have a feeling you might keep it up. For Matt Cutts, it was riding his bike to work and writing a novel. For you, it might be dieting and exercising. Or ____________. You fill in the blank.

And since it's August 1st...you'll have a nice, smooth ending point in August 30th.

It's just 30 days....

What are you doing??

Never Going Back to OK

Have you ever been at a place in your life where everything is going good? When all things are going the way you plan them? I'm sure you have. The mountaintop. The high. The "I'm going to make it" feeling. These times help you to feel comfortable with your life. You feel calm. At ease.

But, I've noticed something. I hardly ever grow...whether it be spiritually, mentally, or emotionally...during these periods in my life.

I grow when I start to lean on God because I have no other choice. I grow when I don't make decisions based on my own desires. I grow when I've got no other option but to choose to follow the light out of the darkness.

In the "all is well" periods of my life, I become complacent. Nonchalant. Lukewarm. Which, according to the Bible, is not good.

“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

-Revelation 3:15-16

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be "spit out" of anyone's mouth, much less God's. To Him, there is nothing worse than (wait for it) not caring. At the very least, be cold. Care enough to not care...if that makes sense. But better yet, be hot. Be on fire. Don't settle for being cold or lukewarm.

When you're not on the mountaintop (which is 9 times out of 10 if we're honest), choose to care. Choose to fight you're way out with God's help. Once you catch that fire, you'll realize that you never want to go back to being ok.

Borrowing from Pete Wilson

Today, I'm going to piggyback off a post I read from one of my favorite bloggers...Pete Wilson. Pete is a pastor of a church in Nashville, Cross Point. He is also the author of Plan B, an incredible book that I am currently absorbed in reading.

Pete wrote about monotony today. You know...what you do everyday, over and over, repeatedly. Like washing the dishes by hand (no dishwasher in the Hardiman household). Or cooking dinner every night. Feeding my kitties and cleaning up after them (they are some dirty felines). More generally: my "chores."

These things, while they get boring, are essential in maintaining a clean and healthy household. They are little, but important and necessary actions that I need to do if I want to be happy inside my house. It would drive me crazy if there were dishes everywhere. It would make Caleb angry if we had take-out every night (not to mention the toll it would take on our waistlines). And let's not even consider the filthiness that would come from neglecting my sweet purring babies.

You may see where I'm going with this. Monotony can be important. Monotony can be necessary. So today, choose to look pass the everyday occurrences in your life and embrace the joy that you can find in them.

What do you consider monotonous that is also a necessary part of your life?

Come As You Are

You don't have to wear designer clothes. You don't have to listen to Christian music.

You don't have to have a nice house or a nice car. You don't have to be "good."

There are no requirements...you just have to accept.

That's the beauty of being in a relationship with God. You just say yes.

You come just as you are...He takes you in and loves you. He extends his love and mercy to you. And, a funny thing happens when you accept this grace. You start to WANT to change. You want to be more like him. You want to make him happy. You want to imitate this love that you have received and extend it to others. It's a beautiful thing.

Come just as you are...

I Got Nothing

Seriously...I can't think of anything to write about.
Writer's block (well I'm not a writer but I have dreams).
I knew it would happen eventually after writing in this blog for awhile.

I'm trying to be ok with this fact. There will be days when I just don't know what to write about. (There are days now when I don't know what to THINK about...much less write.) I guess part of my perfectionist tendency is to want to have something witty, sarcastic, and moving each and every time I log on to my blog. I want to impact somebody who reads this with the words that I write. So I guess I feel guilty when I don't put something worthy of being written on here. I feel like I'm letting my readers down (whoever they may be), and I don't like that feeling...at all.

So I'm sorry if you came here looking for an answer or something good. I'm afraid I just don't have it in me today. I guess I could have written about how my grandmother is having surgery today and how terrifying that is for me/my family or about how it stinks that I can't find a job right now (boy, that doesn't sound like anything else I've written now, does it?). But I couldn't make those blog entries good enough. Granted, having everyone pray for my grandmother would have been beneficial (please do this anyway), but I know some of you would check out and maybe never come back. And I don't want that at all. Frankly, I'm pretty sure my Nana doesn't want me to write that much about her...she's pretty darn humble. So, I didn't write about her.

I had writer's block...