IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

We are moving to a new location! This blog can now be found at the following link: http://recreationalwordslinger.wordpress.com.

I have been wanting to spruce this thing up for awhile now, and I think this change will do the trick.
It will also motivate me to post more, which I've failed at the past few weeks.

Please continue to join me on this journey!
Click here to visit the new blog.

The Discipline of the Day

One of the most basic thought processes you have is "what am I going to do today?" Being disciplined enough to accomplish your daily tasks can be difficult. A good way to combat this problem is by using a "task list," also known as the to-do list.

I'm notorious for creating to-do lists. My hubby jokingly asks me if I wrote down "breathe" and "eat" on the lists! But, I'm almost addicted to them now. In fact, I often "overbook" my day just so I can have lots of checkmarks. Maybe I should see a therapist about this...that doesn't seem healthy now that I wrote it out.

Here are three main ideas I came up with about to-do lists:

1. Make clear and concise bullet points. This way you know exactly what it is you need to do.
2. Make one big point and add additional "sub" points underneath. This ties your day into manageable areas of workability.
3. Carry it around with you. This may seem obvious, but if you continue to see your task list then you are more likely to do the items on that list. 

A Disciplined Approach

Several of the blogs that I read on a daily basis seem to have had one theme in common the past couple of days: discipline. This is totally a God inspired thing because that is an area where I have been struggling mightily. After reading those posts, I decided to be more intentional about being disciplined.

Michael Hyatt (click here to read his post on discipline) gives the example of using discipline to lose weight. One step that Hyatt lists as an essential element to developing discipline is "Identifying Obstacles." He lists multiple scenarios where something can come up that throws you off course. Not being prepared with healthy snacks. Ordering a meal in a restaurant. Not having time to exercise.

When you identify your obstacles, you can then turn them around into situations that benefit you. You can plan ahead and be prepared to combat those obstacles. Which is smart.

All this week, I will be focusing on developing a disciplined approach. I'm looking forward to being more disciplined. As Jon Acuff says in his book "Quitter," discipline begets discipline. So when we're disciplined in one area of our life (say our diet), then we become more disciplined in others (work, writing, marriage, exercising, etc.).

Not Pessimism...

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I'm just not feeling it today. For some reason, on the days when I stay at home and do nothing (not by choice...just didn't called to work), I really start to question and think about things. This week has been reminiscent of the summer weeks. I've gotten my hopes up with random job postings and possibilities, yet nothing has come to fruition. AGAIN. And, today it was really weighing on me.

I've tried to do my best throughout this unemployment period to take advantage of the time I have to work out and exercise. So, I was on the elliptical for awhile, watching a sermon by Pete Wilson at CrossPoint Church in Nashville. I've mentioned before about how much I adore this church, and await the opportunity to visit. Anyway...Pete had a question in the sermon that rocked me to the core (or maybe that was the exercising):

When has pessimism or cynicism ever gotten you anywhere?

So I thought about it...it's certainly not getting me anywhere right now that's for sure. All day I've been all "I'm never going to get a teaching job" and stuff. Have I been productive? Heck no. The only thing I've done is worked out. I'm convinced pessimism is like a cancer...it spreads and infiltrates all areas of your thought processes. It's not productive.

Today, choose to not think pessimistically. Be positive...because this can spread, too.

Will I Ever??

The question bounces around in between your ears. Will I ever...

-grow up

-get married

-get a teaching job

-have kids

-be good enough

If we let it, this question can dictate our lives. It can manipulate and control us in ways we never thought were possible.

Today, grab that question by the throat and scream "I WANT SOME PEACE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Take a deep breath and rest in the peace that passes all understanding. God has a plan. He's in control. And He will rule over the "will I ever" questions in your life.

What Are You Waiting For?

Have you ever uttered the following words: If I can ever find the time, I will work on _________"??

If you are anything like me, then I am sure you have. Just this past August, I decided I wanted to paint some. I bought a couple of canvas boards, some paint, and borrowed some brushes from my brother. I have done a total of 1 painting. That's right, 1. I'm sure you have a story like this, too. Maybe it's got to do with pursuing a dream of yours. Maybe it's about losing weight (oh yeah, I've got this one also). Maybe it's about spending time with your kids.

Stop putting it off until you have time. Because if we're honest, then we'll never really have enough time. On days that we're off, we want to rest or catch up on our chores and housework so we don't have to do it during the week. Tomorrow starts a new month. November. Second to last month of the year. Don't wait until New Years to make a change. Do it now. Find the time.

What are you waiting for?

I Lost It

I had an amazing idea for today's post...last night. Did I write it down? Of course not. So guess what? I forgot it. And I'm mad that I did because, like I said, it was awesome. So who knows what's going to happen here.

"...cynics desecrate beauty." -Proverbs 24:9

I read this verse this morning. Honestly, it was finding the word "desecrate" in the Bible that stopped me in my tracks. But then I went back and reread it to put it into context. It's actually a powerful verse.

If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's a cynic. You'll never get there. That plan will never work out. This idea will never take hold. Never, never, never.

Get over yourself Mr. Cynic. Who are you to tell me that I can't create or maintain beauty? Stop desecrating beauty.

Challenge: Today, ignore the cynic. Allow yourself to see/create/maintain/develop beauty.

Tune In Tuesday, Part Two

Yesterday, I posted on Twitter something along all the lines of this:

"Shout out to Coldplay for making me not be able to correctly 'paradise' anymore."

I'm sure this made some of you wonder what in the world I meant. Well peeps, here ya go. You're welcome:





Coldplay has quickly become one of my top all time favorites...right up there with U2. (I'm not being blasphemous Robby, seriously...)

I'm getting their CD next week because I will earn a $5 gift card to Target when I get my flu shot. So, by golly, I'm treating myself to something after the pain!

If you want to go ahead and get yours now (CD version), click below to go to Amazon (affiliate link):




Here's the link to the MP3 download, a great, quick option:

It's A New Week!!!

Happy Monday Recreational Word Slingers! It's a brand new week, and I pray that you guys have a great week. This is a good week for me:

-worked half a day today...which means I will probably get a gazillion calls the rest of the week!

-going to Knoxville to watch my Tennessee Vols beat South Carolina...the best part is the people who I'm going with (you know who you are)

-I actually might play well enough in my tennis match to make it competitive :)


What do you guys have going on?? Let me know by commenting below!

P.S. Sorry if this post is badly formatted, I'm posting from my phone.

He Reigns Over the Pain

God reigns...

-over your pain
-over your relationships
-over your unemployment
-over your promotion
-over your infertility
-over your spouse & children
-over your gifts & abilities

-over everything

Things I Love Right Now

I love to run these days. It really clears my head and helps me think.

I am in love with all things pumpkin. Pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks, pumpkin muffins that my sister-in-law made, pumpkin muffins that I made yesterday, and pumpkin scones that I want to make next week :)

I love that I'm going to be an aunt...I can't wait for my little niece or nephew to get here, so I can spoil them like crazy. I can picture a lot of spend the night parties with my fav little dude or dudette!

I am obsessed with reading right now...just finished Emily Giffin's Something Blue. It's totally a chick read, but I had fun indulging myself! I've got several more serious books that I'm about to start reading, so it's all good.

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What about you? What things do you love right now?

Gracious Words

What percentage of your speech yesterday was negative, sarcastic, or condescending?

This is the question that greeted me in my devotional this morning. Talk about a slap in the face. Not that I consistently smack talk people throughout the day. That’s not the part that got me. What I struggle with is the sarcasm aspect of that question. I don’t know why I love sarcasm so much…maybe because I like to crack jokes, maybe it’s because I avoid being authentic, maybe I should be lying on a couch talking to my therapist about this instead. By the way, I don’t really have a therapist, but I thought that sounded funny there. OK, I think I figured out which one of those it is!

Anyways…sarcasm does not build anyone up. It is not gracious speech. Gracious words do not exist inside sarcasm. Translation…it’s not good. One thing that I do is sarcastically argue with my husband. We aren’t “real” fighting, but we are “play” fighting. What purpose does this have? None. There is no possible way that our “play” bickering can increase the affection we have for each other.

In the book, The Love Dare, I found a great quote about what to do in situations like the one I just described. “More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath.” I love that. Patience is a deep breath. Just take a deep breath and don’t say anything! I need to work on keeping my mouth shut and increasing the gracious things that I say.

“Gracious speech is like clover honey-good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24 (The Message)

“Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.”

-       The Love Dare

Want to Get Better?

When was the last time you stopped for a moment and took a self-inventory? I have to be honest…it’s been quite a long time for me. I generally know areas that I need to improve in, but I rarely sit down to evaluate my life as a whole.

Last Monday, I lost (significantly) my first tennis match. When I got home, I took about ten minutes to think about what had gone so wrong. Turns out, there were many things! I also thought about how to fix those errors. I wrote it down, and I determined that I was going to try and improve on those things in my next match.

This got me thinking about why I don’t do this for all areas of my life. Physically…mentally…emotionally…spiritually. So, that’s on my to-do list for tomorrow. Here are a couple of questions to help you get started with this inventory:

1. How do I feel physically? Am I getting enough rest, exercise, and nutrients?

2. What am I doing to continually stretch my mental abilities?

3. Have I reacted too strongly in an emotional setting recently?

4. What does my relationship with God look like?

Always ask: how can I improve? This helps you to realize that you can always get better.

Become Dumb

I've got a confession to make...lately, I have been feeling apathetic. And, it's not just confined to one area of my life...it has spilled over into all aspects of my life. I knew that something had been a little "off" for awhile now, and I know the cause of it, too. The only problem is the solution is not in my hands. I tried all summer to "solve" this problem, and it just didn't work. Granted this is something that has more to do with other people making decisions than with me doing my thing. So yesterday afternoon, I decided something:

I AM JUST PLAIN TIRED OF TRYING RIGHT NOW.

It feels like every time I take a step forward...I take two or three back. I know you guys are tired of reading these depressing posts (I'm gonna try and do a pep talk at the end, so stay with me here), so I just want to let you know that I haven't been myself since about May. I hope once everything gets straightened out then I can back to my old self.

I know there are a lot of people going through situations or a season where there is no end in sight. Marathon seasons. Remember this, you can't sprint throughout a marathon. There is absolutely no way that you can run at 100% speed for 26.2 miles. Even professionals slow down during a race...granted their pace is still like 5:00/mi when they slow down, but still!

Take it a little at a time. Turn your brain off for a few hours or so and just forget about the situation. Become "dumb" to it. Maybe when you turn it back on, you'll find that your care was turned back on, too.

The Art of Inconsistency

I realized this morning that I am consistently inconsistent. One week I may go on a diet and be completely dedicated to losing weight, and then the next I may eat dessert at every meal and have fast food for lunch every day. Two or three weeks later, I find myself back at square one. I have come to the conclusion that I do not know how to be consistent.

I have this sneaking suspicion that this affliction of inconsistency does not merely affect me. After all, there is a whole section of music built around the notion of inconsistency. Ever heard of “One-Hit Wonders?” Once you sift through all the “Who Let the Dogs Out” and “Kung-Fu Fighting” singles, you realize just how significant these tunes were to their appropriate generations. So, why have we not heard any more of their music? Because the culture changed. The singles were a hit one day, and then the next day they were not. Inconsistency. This happens repeatedly in the music business, which is why the “sophomore slump” racks the nerves of every potential artist. They want to continue to be relevant; if they have a consistent sound, then that is at risk.

We see this in our everyday lives as well. The diet example that I gave earlier resonates with many of you I’m sure. Another part of inconsistency that I can relate to is in the job realm. As a substitute teacher, inconsistency is what I do. I may work three days one week and not work any the following week. Those of you in the freelance business can relate to this. Some weeks you think you can go out and buy a Lexus because you have so much work coming in, but you know that right around the corner you might have to eat Ramen noodles in order to pay for your cell phone bill. Ah, the joys (not) of inconsistency.

What’s so great about consistency anyway? Well, for many people (including myself), consistency equals balance. There is not too many out there who would deny themselves the opportunity to receive balance in their lives. Balance helps us to feel like we have some degree of control. Consistency means knowing what will happen next. After all, isn’t that the meaning of the word? It takes the weight off our shoulders. It relieves us of the pressure of the unknown.

When we go through a season of our life where inconsistency dictates, it is easy for one to crumble. All we focus on is the incredulous number of balls that we are juggling in the air. The blinders become more evident, and our field of vision narrows. But this is the period when we can actually control the direction our life moves toward. Pick one area of your life that you know without a doubt that you can consistently focus on. Maybe it’s reading everyday. Maybe it’s exercising everyday. Maybe it’s being a good parent everyday. When you become disciplined in one area, it tends to spill over (just like that bowl of soup you had for dinner last night) into other areas of your life. The art of inconsistency is that you can move from inconsistency to consistency with one little discipline.  

Tunes for Your Tuesday

I wanted to share with you this amazing cover of a great song in and of itself. Matthew Mayfield may have found what he was looking for in this song. He sings and tweaks the music a little bit as well, but it sounds amazing. Check out his version of "Where the Streets Have No Name," originally done by U2.

The Monday Me

The Monday me hates the weekend me. The weekend me has fun on Friday nights, hangs out with family and friends on Saturdays, watches an inordinate amount of sports, and takes an afternoon nap on Sundays.

The Monday me wakes up with nowhere to go except the grocery store. The switch goes from full throttle to little to no "oomph" at all. It goes from one extreme to the other.

To be honest, I love the weekend me. (Who doesn't, right?!) But I almost love the weekend me more so now that I don't have a job than when I did have a job. Let me explain.

During the week, I feel this extreme pressure to get a sub opportunity or the need to find a more stable part-time, night job. And on days when I don't get asked to sub or when I continue to have no luck finding a night job, then I start down the path to the "death spiral." This is what I call what happens to me by Thursday on weeks without work. It's one thing after another when I'm in the "death spiral."

Guess when I DON'T feel any pressure? You got it...on the weekend. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I go a whole day (most likely on Saturday) when I don't even think about my previous lackluster week or the seemingly endless one ahead of me.

There is a disconnect between the Monday me and the weekend me.

What about you? Does your personality hate your weekend self?

"Quitter"

Today I want to inform you about a book that will change the way you think about your job. Quitter by Jon Acuff, who I’ve mentioned on the blog before, is a piece written to people who have a dream job that is separate from their day job. Now don’t get me wrong…there are a lot of parallels to life in general, so even if you have your dream job already I still suggest you read it. I, for example, don’t currently have a steady day job, so some of the points did not apply to that aspect of my life. However, I still got some advice from Mr. Acuff himself.

The book is written in his typical, satirical style, which is why I might be slightly obsessed with reading his stuff. Nevertheless, I chuckled throughout the entire writing. The points are well thought out, and there is even some pages in the back for you to brainstorm on. I did not do this because I borrowed the book from someone, and I didn’t think they would appreciate me scribbling in their book. But, when you buy this book, you can do it. So get yourself a copy. Seriously, just click on the little link below…very good…and purchase it. Enjoy!

A Slap in the Face

Anybody who knows me knows that I am a HUGE sports fan...this includes the sport of baseball. Specifically, I am a fan of the Atlanta Braves. Some of you who know what happened last night are either: a)laughing at me because you are a Cardinals fan, or b)sympathize with me because you, too (for some reason) are also a Braves fan. If "a" is the case, then don't talk to me...I'm not happy with Cardinals right now. If it's "b", air hugs...lots of them.

For those of you who aren't big baseball fans, then I'll fill you in briefly...hopefully without shedding a tear. At the beginning of September, the Braves had a GINORMOUS lead over the St. Louis Cardinals in the Wild Card race. The winner of the Wild Card goes to the playoffs, which start Saturday. Over the course of the month, the Braves lost a couple of games and the Cardinals tied up the Wild Card race on Tuesday night. So, Wednesday's game was crucial. The Cardinals won Wednesday, so the Braves had to win to force a playoff game tonight. Long story short (I'd prefer not to recap the game because then I really will cry), the Braves lost in extra innings. So, no playoffs. After all that.

Fast forward to this morning. My husband (knowing that I would be devastated) sent me a text that said, "try to have a good day today." That's not really important to my story, but I thought it was sweet. I decided to work out my feelings through a run. I go to a local track. This man and his dog walk up to the area. I notice he looks in a nearby trashcan. "That's weird," I think to myself. Then, I notice, he goes to all of the other trash cans in the area. This man was looking for food.

SLAP. IN. MY. FACE.

It was like God hit me with a 2 x 4 right in the middle of my forehead. There I was, fussing and angrily thinking/replaying the game in my head, and there was a guy looking for something to eat. In the trash can. That just got to me.

Have you ever been slapped upside the head when you're feeling sorry for yourself?

A Day Away to Keep the Blues At Bay

I'm looking forward to my day today...want to know why? Ok, ok...I'll tell you.

I'm getting out of the house. After the ridiculously depressing day I had yesterday (and it was all self-induced), I'm ready for a day out. Now, you might think to yourself..."But you just had a day out with your Mom on Monday?" Very good...and somewhat creepy because I didn't tweet, Facebook, or blog about that...but I have found that when I have a week when I know that I won't be working (at least that's the way it looks right now), then I need my "away" time.

When I say "away" time, this does not always mean going out and spending money. In fact, today I probably won't spend much, but I'm getting out and going to enjoy the company. My away time has a twofold purpose:

1. It takes my mind of things. For a few precious hours, I do not have to worry about the fact that I don't have a steady job. And believe me, that in and of itself is worth whatever I spend.
2. It helps me get recharged for the next day. I come back home in a better mood, and I feel more energized to face the rest of the week. This is crucial to my mental health right now.

Sometimes just going out for a run can do these two things for me, but some days it takes a little more. Like today. So that's why I'm excited about my day. And I hope you are too!

Two Events I Think You Should Know About

There are two pretty cool events that I think you should know about. I hope somebody out there reading will be able to go to at least one of them.

1) Catalyst Atlanta- This is a next-level leadership conference. The Catalyst people are amazing, and they are passionate about teaching young people (and old ones, too!) about being better leaders. They do many different conferences throughout the year...some are one day only and some are spread out over a couple of days. Catalyst Atlanta will take place October 5-7. Some of the incredible people that will be there include (but not limited to): Jon Acuff, Dave Ramsey, David Platt, Andy Stanley, Mark Driscoll, Francis Chan, Jim Collins, and Michael Hyatt. How about that list??!! I would love to attend this event or one of their future events.

2) Cross Point Night of Worship- I affectionately call Cross Point Nashville "my Nashville church." I regularly watch their sermons and read their Pastor's (Pete Wilson) blog. If I lived in Nashville, I would attend there. Next Tuesday, September 27, Cross Point is hosting a Night of Worship. No sermon or anything...just worship. Check out this sneak peek of what might happen:


WORSHIP // The Stand from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

Looks pretty awesome, right? If I could find someone ride with me to this, I would go in a heartbeat!

Well there you go, 2 events that look freaking sweet. Hope you can check them out.

Have a great weekend guys!

The "I'm Feeling Richer" Effect

I love this commercial. It is so applicable to how we live our lives. Even if the point of the ad is for you to switch wireless companies, I think there a couple of things we can pull from it:

1. We often disguise our conversations or talks. If you notice at the beginning of the commercial, the woman is on the phone. Talking about CRAZY dinner plans. Cornish hens??? Who does that? Answer: nobody...unless you are a CEO or President. So nobody that those people in the commercial would know and (most likely) nobody that you and I know. This woman is trying to make herself feel important because she is talking about a subject that she thinks the other person will regard as high society or important. How many times have you done this? I'm not talking about discussing Cornish hens (although if you have...I apologize), but using our words to make us look important or distinguished.

2. We hide behind our stuff. Clearly this is the overwhelming message of the ad. That normal, everyday Joe couple would never drive the same car as hip-hop music mogul would. They drive a station wagon. Because that's normal. But, when you think you are better than you are or more important than you, you buy a lot of stuff to uphold this image of yourself. AKA...fancy cars, ones like Kanye or Jay-Z would drive (never thought I would ever mention them in my blog...awesome). Way too often, people buy more stuff to hide their "stuff." Their worry. Their pain. Their sorrows. They think that they can't let anyone know that they are just like everyone else, so they try to be BETTER than the average Joe. With Cadillacs...Lexuses (lexii??)...Beamers.

Sure, we laugh at this woman's stupidity for thinking she drove that nice car and could fix Cornish hens at her dinner party. But how many times have we been right there with her??  

One Little Action

The other day I encountered a scenario that brightened my day tenfold. (And no, it wasn't when the Braves or Tennessee won...although that helps.) This instance occurred when I picked up my mail. I was flipping through it and I noticed a bright pink greeting card.

I paused for a second, rolling through the list of who would be sending me a card in September. It's not my birthday, anniversary, or Christmas. So, I drew a blank.

I decided to open it (well, duh), and I immediately noticed it was a Thank You card...because it had "thank you" written on the front. My mind went a hundred miles an hour trying to determine who would send me a thank you note for something I had done. I turned to the inside and discovered it was from my doctor's office. (No, it wasn't for an expensive visit or anything like that) It was to thank me for referring my sister in law to her practice.

Boom. My day was made. Why?

Because the doctor took time out of her ridiculously busy day to send a thank you note to me, a patient who sees her once a year. It was a simple gesture that had a tremendous impact on my day.

What simple gesture can you do to improve someone's day?

Tune In Tuesday

Some great music is being released into the world today. The band Leeland's fourth studio album comes out today, "The Great Awakening." Do yourself a favor and go buy it. I have their other three albums, and they are absolutely incredible worship musicians. I love it.

Just to give you a sneak peek, here is the single "I Wonder":

It's the Only Story I Can Tell Really Well

I've got one story under my belt. Not just any story, but the kind you can tell at cocktail parties. And guess what? I don't even go to cocktail parties...not that I've ever been invited to any, but still. I'm not a drinker. But I've got a "cocktail party approved" sticker on this story. Here goes:

One year ago today. It was a beautiful day. Warm, but not hot. Sunny, but not so bright I couldn't see. I had just signed up to run a 5K and decided it would be a great idea if I actually got into good cardio shape, which is somewhat necessary to run a successful 3 mile race. So I head out on my bicycle down our street and turn down another. Perfect, country back roads. What a picturesque way to spend a free September Friday afternoon, right?????

WRONG.

About two miles from my house (told you I was just starting out...I'm no Lance Armstrong), I was heading back. When OUT OF NOWHERE this humongous dog came bolting towards me. More like a man-dog (that's not really an animal or a word, but I thought it would provide you with a more accurate description of just exactly how huge this dog was). Now, I'm used to seeing dogs on this bike ride...I had passed several that had greeted me with a lovely little bark and let me go on my way. Not this one. He decided to chase me up the street for awhile, and then proceeded to tear into my leg. He got some nice flesh. In several different places. Oh, and guess what? He brought a buddy with him. I panicked. Like I said, I wasn't exactly close to my house and I had no idea how long my new friends was going to hang out with me. Being in front of a house I raced my bike into the driveway and proceeded to bang on the door inside the garage. Just my luck...no one was home. The dog had me cornered. He could have ended me right then and there. So I took my bicycle and made a makeshift shelter with it. But THANKFULLY the dog was done with me. He did want to keep watch on me and make it impossible for me to pass by him and laid down at the opposite end of the garage. So, all I had to do was wait. And wait. And wait some more.

The owner finally came home about an hour and a half later. I have often imagined what was going on his mind as he turned in from the driveway to see a hysterical bike rider in his garage with blood covering my legs. It had to have been amusing! So he got me all taken care of and took me back home. Oh yeah, my husband was out of town so my mother-in-law and grandparents took me to the hospital where my mom met us. Everything was fine...they just cleaned me up good. All I've got is a scar and a story to show for it.

WHEW...that was a lot to type...I can look back on this occurrence one year later and laugh and be glad God chose to take care of me (I was in more danger of passing out than anything). And if I ever find myself at some distinguished cocktail party, I have an awesome story to tell that I can exaggerate at just the right places...

One of those days

I'm having one of those days where all I can see is my failure. I don't know if it's because of the weather (cloudy and rainy here) or because I had hoped to receive a call to sub either today or tomorrow or something else entirely different. All I know is that I have days like this every now and then. And I'm sure you do too.

When the kids just won't listen...

When no one likes your proposal at work...

When you receive yet another rejection letter from a potential employer or college...

When the doctor shakes his hand and says, "No, you're still not pregnant"

Those days are difficult. They flat out stink. But, I also think that those days lie to us. They all get together one night at Starbucks and say, "Hey, tomorrow...let's really rough em up. Let's make it seem like there is no way anything good can come from this situation." And they plan to make our life miserable for whatever particular day they choose to show up on.

Ugh...frustrating. I hate "those days." But as I was driving in my car today (good place to let my eyes glaze over while I think, right?), I realized that there might be one bright spot to "those days."

Those days almost always call you into action. You get tired of being pushed around by those days. You make a choice. You take action. You move. Yes you may take a break first to let your emotions and brain recover, but after this sabbatical is over you change. You try a different approach to a work project. You decide to go a different route to having a baby, like adoption. You apply to a different college.

If you are having one of those days, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and it is not forever. That's why the saying is one of those days...

The Jean Saga

It's funny if you think about it. Me...waiting outside the Gap two hours before it opened...in the frigid November morning air...hoping that I could get in and out before my class started. It was Free Jean day, and I was bound and determined to knock one item off my Christmas list. I was going to get my hubby a pair and wrap them up good for December 25. The requirement was that you had to be one of the first ten and check in on their Facebook page. So I did both of those things, and all I had to do was wait. 10:00 rolled around and I was in and out with a free $60 pair of jeans. Heck to the yes. I couldn't wait to give these to him on Christmas morning. I knew he would be surprised and ecstatic being the frugal person he is. :)

Flash forward to present day...I'm tagging items to take to a consignment store. Guess what item I discovered was in hubby's pile????

Those jeans.

At first glance...I was a little hurt. I had put a lot of thought into getting him those jeans. Not to mention the effort that I had put into it as well. But then, insight (as it usually does) came out of nowhere and hit me upside the head.

He's not throwing away his love for me. He's getting rid of an object.

I had to take a deep breath and get over it (I'm still not taking them to consignment, though...my bro will be getting them...I'm sad, I know). Material things DO NOT matter. How many times do I have to learn this before I start believing it...

The Day After...

So yesterday was the big 10 year anniversary of 9/11. It was crazy to experience those emotions all over again. I surprisingly made it through the day without breaking down...I teared up several times, but I managed to hold it in. The images and videos that were displayed on TV yesterday were breathtaking. And not in a good way. It's still difficult to fathom what happened that day.

I found myself trying to remember how I felt when I walked into Mr. Harper's 8th grade science class and saw that the TV was on. Truth is...most of that day is blurry and fuzzy around the edges. I know for a fact that we did not do any schoolwork that day; we watched the news all day long. And hardly anybody talked while we stared at what was happening in our country. We knew it was bad. By the end of the day, government officials had figured out that it was indeed an attack and not an accident. This was when I first heard about Osama Bin Laden...strange.

The day after the towers fell may be as significant as the actual occurrence. Why? Because it spurred people into action. We helped. We volunteered. We rallied around our hurt to unite the nation. It was an incredible thing to watch. During sporting events, teams wore hats that said "FDNY" or "NYPD" to recognize that we were one. It didn't matter if you were a Mets fan or a Giants fan...we came together to support our fellow Americans.

Now, we are days after. Weeks after. Years after. The pain is still there, particularly on the anniversary days. I challenge you to consider the following:

What have I done to make the world better since 9/11?
Have I kept the commitments that I made on that day and the days after?
How can I do better going forward?

I hope you are doing something rewarding in your life. I hope that you are impacting those around you. And I hope that in the days to come you will commit to something worthwhile and never give up.

Focus

Have you seen a commercial recently for 5 Hour Energy/Red Bull/or any of the various energy drinks that are on the market? They seem to be on just about every commerical break. These items are extremely popular in our culture today. Why?

Because they provide us with the focus we need to finish the job.

Seriously? We can't even make it through the day without needing caffeine to help us focus??

Don't worry...I'm not trying to condemn anyone here...I can't do it either, but I have been thinking about why.

There's this movie called Limitless that banks on the principal that we can't access all areas of our brain and we lose focus too easily. In the movie, the guy discovers a pill that allows his brain to be fully functional for 24 hours. While under the influence of the pill, he learns to play the piano, writes a new book, and does various other tasks that would take the average person several weeks to accomplish.

How. Cool. Would. That. Be.

It's a sad comment on our society that we think it's better to get something done quick, rather than take the time that is needed to finish it. We want to take the easy fix pill (see above paragraph) and be an instant genius. But, I think it's better if we slow down, focus in on our project, and work hard to get it done.

Who's with me?

Acceptance

It's been about a month since school started back, and with that comes the realization that I will not be teaching this semester. This does not come from lack of effort, but from something that I have absolutely no control over. Now that I've typed it out for the whole world to see indicates that I've reached a critical point in this matter:

Acceptance.

I believe it is critical in all areas of your life to learn to accept. Dictionary.com defines acceptance as "the act of assenting or believing." To concur. To believe. To accept.

This is kind of like how in those meetings they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. In other words, you are accepting yourself for you who are. And I think that is applicable here. There are two main things that I've learned about when dealing with this issue:

1. Admit who you are. This is the base of acceptance. Like I said earlier, when you admit who you are, then you can begin to accept who you are. You say things like...

I am unemployed
I am a drug addict
I am unable to have a baby
I am a liar
I am emotionally or physically abusive...

And you begin to see that when you learn the truth about yourself, then you might not like it. Which is why the next step is so important.

2. Do something about it. Take actions to fix your problem. This may mean...

Finding temporary employment in a job you don't love
Going to meetings or finding a therapy group
Researching various options to having kids, like adoption or foster parenting
Reconnecting with God to learn that the Truth will set you free
Learning about your past and finding better ways to express anger or disappointment...

Step 2 is hard. It may be harder than Step 1...I don't know. I'm not quite there yet.

How do you define acceptance?

A Blank Slate

So with the start of September comes the need to reevaluate my goals for August and set new ones for September. The August part is easy. I didn't accomplish any of them! Perhaps the most obvious one is my lack of losing 5 lbs. In fact, I actually gained weight. Ugh. Also, I didn't get to read The Help before I saw the movie, which was unbelievable by the way (in a good way). And, no job. So I'm 0 for 3.

Good news. New month. Blank slate.

With that said...here are some of the goals I have set for September (you may notice some layover).

1. Beef up my resume' so that it becomes impossible not to hire me for a future teaching position- I don't want to think that it has been my fault that I haven't gotten a job. It makes me sad. It makes me depressed, so I don't want to think that. However, I realize that there are some steps that I can take to make sure that in the future that I do not have this fear in the back of my mind. I want to be 100% sure that I have done everything on my end to pursue a job.

2. Work out three times a week using the Couch-to-5K program to develop a healthier lifestyle- I need to focus on increasing my fitness level and my health. I want to shift my thinking from losing pounds to gaining a healthier lifestyle. And hopefully, I will lose those 5 lbs in the meantime.

Those are two of my focus areas for September...I may come up with a few more over the weekend, and I will add them later.

What do you want to accomplish in September?

In With the New

I don't know about you, but I sure am glad September is here. And it's not for the reason you might think it is. Not because it's college football. Not because the weather will cool off (one can hope). Not because there is a craft show that I'm going to with my mom (although that is certainly a plus!). Nope, none of the above.

I am glad it's September because that means August is over.

August was a rough month for me. It seemed like it was just a series of failure after failure for me. And it was really starting to wear me down. So the end of it definitely comes with relief!

I have decided that I will be positive this month and continue to work hard. I'm going to "hustle" if you will (this is not my own term, but rather one of Jon Acuff's...click to visit him here). I will focus on continuing to "market" myself as a certified substitute and possibly as an after school tutor (more on that later today). If I had one word for September, it would be: focus.

What's your word for September?

What to do when the lightbulb goes off

I'm not very good at saying explicitly how I feel. I just don't go around saying "Me hungry" or "Me mad." It sounds primitive to me...although that could have more to do with the lack of pronoun usage, but you get my point. For as long as I am alive, I will probably never look directly at someone and say, "I am really mad at you right now." I just can't do it...it makes my skin crawl even thinking about it.

With that said, cohabiting with other human beings requires at least a small degree of communication. I'm sure even my brother and his roommate grunt at each other from time (don't know where all these tarzan references are coming from...Freudian slips??). This is one of the biggest adjustments I have had since getting married. Growing up and being around the fam for so long, I developed my own way of communicating with them how I felt (thankfully, it evolved as I matured...I no longer throw pillows). And so, when I married my hubby I didn't realize that I might have to tweak this "coping" style, if you will, to his nature. For example, whenever I share something with my mom, she always asks additional questions about the subject matter. But, when I share same item with hubby, I usually get maybe two words. Different. Not bad. Different.

So I've had to monitor my thinking and sharing to his nature or demeanor. And sometimes I forget. Oh boy do I forget. This morning we had a conversation about something that I had meant to tell him, but I forgot to. And he was like "I can't read your mind." LIGHTBULB!

From now on, I'm going to try and do better about explicitly saying things. And not in a way that is mean or sarcastic either. It's going to be honest and real.

What's something that has made you say "LIGHTBULB" to recently?

Choices

When I was driving home from the grocery store this morning, I came up on the Department of Corrections clean up crew. Normally, I would just drive right past them (don't worry mom, I didn't stop and chat with them or anything), but a thought popped in my head.

What choices did these guys make?

Because they had to do something. Did they make a choice to hurt, steal, or lie? Or were they making a choice that they thought was right at the time?

Choices...they can MAKE or BREAK us. And sometimes our choices are so instant that we don't think long-term. We don't think about consequences or stuff that will occur because of our choices. We make choices because we want to feel like we have control over a situation.

Today, take a moment and reflect on the options you have. Pray about a decision. Don't make the mistake of a bad choice.

Lessons from a Legend, Part 3

This is the conclusion to the three part series, "Lessons from a Legend." Scroll down to read the other posts. Enjoy!

The third part to this series is called, "How to Deliver Bad News." If you've been following this series, you'll know that my inspiration came from Pat Summitt and her recent dementia diagnosis. I have been examining and reflecting on the things I have learned from Coach Summitt, even though I don't know her or have never played for her. But I have observed Summitt over the years and did a mental scroll back through what I have picked up on.

Today's delivering bad news post is quite obviously inspired by her recent announcement, whereas the previous posts were drawn from a lifetime of inspiration. Even though I hope to never have to deliver bad news to anyone, I'm sure it will happen eventually. Whether it be...

firing someone

telling someone that a loved one died

announcing an illness

One thing I learned from watching Summitt's announcement (click here to watch) is to be honest. Summitt gave information that was open and honest. She didn't sugarcoat her diagnosis. She gave the details that she knew and didn't try to hide anything. This is hard to remember sometimes when faced with the daunting task of delivering bad news. You might say, "We really wanted to keep you on with the company, but we just can't afford it" when you really should say, "I'm sorry, but your performance with this company is not up to our standards. We have given you opportunities to improve it, but it's just not up to par. Sorry, but we have to let you go."

Harsh. Mean. Truth.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but it may be what we really need to hear.

Are you speaking the truth, even when it hurts?

Lessons from a Legend, Part 2

This is the second part in the series, "Lessons from a Legend." Tomorrow, the final post of the series will be available.

Today's post is called "How to Be Classy." (Insert obvious Ron Burgundy joke here) If you tuned in yesterday, then you know that I am writing a series based on stuff I have learned from one of my heroes, Coach Pat Summitt. Yesterday, I focused on "How to Be Great" by setting high standards and setting achievable goals.

Not only is Coach Summitt a great coach, but she is a very classy lady. Just watch any post game interview (win or loss) and it becomes obvious that possess a great deal of class. There are many things that I could discuss in relation to this topic, but I want to focus on 2 specific areas in which I think Coach Summitt excels:

1. She invests in others. Before each new season, Summitt gives her players a personality test. This helps her to better know how to coach them and how they will respond to her coaching. For instance, if a player is an extreme introvert, it's not going to do the team any good if Summitt screams at her. That's not to say she won't reprimand them for a foolish turnover, but she will adjust the way she does so. Another way that she invests in others is in the fact that she cooks for her players and friends and other coaches at her house. She invests the time (not to mention how much money that has to cost...wait, that's not an issue for her!) it takes to cook all that stuff, but she knows that the benefits outweigh the work.

2. She is an excellent communicator. This goes back to the post game interviews...she makes her point in an efficient and effective manner. She is not "short" with the reporters who ask her why she made a certain play call. She explains her thought processes and keeps emotion out of the equation. This is a big deal...coaches are awful at not controlling their emotion in a post-loss interview (Saban, anyone??? Or what about that Oklahoma State coach, you know the "I'm a man" guy???). Communication is such a big deal in our society today. And I believe good communication is when all involved parties are clear about what was said. When you take emotion away, it is easy to keep a clear mind about what you need to communicate.

When I think about what I've learned from Coach Summitt, investing in others and being a good communicator are certainly areas where I need improvement. I've always felt like one of the best ways to invest in others is sharing a meal or cup of coffee with them. This is certainly one of the most fun ways to invest in others, but there are various other ways to do so. Phone calls, e-mails, prayers. Take technology away and pour into someone else's life. And the only way I know to become a better communicator is to practice. Not just talking, but listening as well.

Lessons from a Legend, Part 1

This is the first part of the "Lessons from a Legend" series. Tune in tomorrow for part two.

The moment has arrived for me to reveal the subject of this week's series. And, honestly, this took me (and the rest of the world) by surprise. I'm going to focus the posts this week on the one and only Coach Pat Summitt. Most of you are aware that yesterday, she announced to the world that she has early onset dementia.

I have watched Coach Summitt from the time I was able to watch TV. Anybody who knows me knows that I am a Lady Vol (and Summitt) fanatic. Now, I want you to understand one thing:

These posts are not about converting people to cheer for her or the team. These are simply observations and lessons that I have noted throughout my life of following her.

Ok, I just had to make that clear. Today's lesson is entitled, "How to Be Great."

Coach Summitt is the embodiment of great. 8 national championships. More wins than any other college basketball coach...MEN OR WOMEN.

In other words....great.

Summitt holds her players to high standards. They are required to sit within the first 2 rows of chairs in their respective academic classes. After a tough loss, they run something called "The Hill." (it's not called the hill because it's this incredibly flat stretch of land if you know what I mean) During one season, the team was even kept out of their own locker room. She felt they weren't performing to the standards, so they couldn't use their home locker room. High standards.

Summitt and her players always, always make goals. Before a season. Before a game. Before a practice. And the cool part is: she offers rewards and punishments (well that's not so cool...see the hill in previous paragraph) to help her players achieve these goals. Read this quote of hers for advice on setting goals: "Set a goal that stretches you, requires exceptional effort, but one that you can reach" (Success Magazine, 2009).

One of my lifetime goals has always been to learn from Pat Summitt...either as a player or as a coach. When I gave up basketball in high school, that first part became impossible. The coaching part is still possible, just very, very unlikely. What I didn't realize is that I've actually been learning from her all along...

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

I'm going to start something that I have never done...because I'm quite scared of doing it. It's a fear that strikes many in the public speaking or writing realm...not saying I belong with that crowd but you get my point (well you will in a minute).

I'm doing a series. That's right folks. This gal is tackling a week long series...notice how I started on Tuesday with an introduction, that means just 3 actual posts...that's called skillz, of the math variety.

Now, you are probably thinking to yourself: "Self, I wonder what this awesome series is going to be about? I wish the oh wise one would inform us." I'll tell you the title of the series, deal?

"Lessons from a Legend."

Visit the blog on Wednesday for Part One of the series "Lessons from a Legend."

The One Thing I Learned This Summer

That's right...I learned one thing. Ok, I'm sure I learned more...like how awesome my family is, etc. But this is the most important, and I don't want you to miss it. Ready???


Your failure is NOT personal.
You may think it is, but it's not. Whether you want to believe it or not, there are things you cannot control. And a lot of that is related to failure.

It's not personal that you didn't get that job and someone else did.

It's not personal that you can't have a kid and a teenage girl can.

It's not personal that your dad left you when you were a kid.

It's not personal.

Sometimes that's just the way the world works. And we're not in control of the world now, are we?

The Cost of Preoccupations

So many times, I catch myself not listening to someone talking to me. (Oh come on...you do it, too) It's not that I don't like said person. Or that they are boring me (ok sometimes it is). It's not them; it's me.

I'm preoccupied.

A thousand thoughts are flying through my mind. I try to push them out and focus on the conversation and person at hand, but it's hard. I had the outline of this blog written in my mind this morning...talk about being preoccupied...and then I stumbled upon this story in Esther in my devotional book.

"Haman left the palace that day happy, beaming. And then he saw Mordecai sitting at the King's Gate ignoring him, oblivious to him. Haman was furious with Mordecai. But he held himself in and went on home. He got his friends together with his wife Zeresh and started bragging about how much money he had, his many sons, all the times the king had honored him, and his promotion to the highest position in the government. 'On top of all that,' Haman continued, 'Queen Esther invited me to a private dinner she gave for the king, just the three of us. And she's invited me to another one tomorrow. But I can't enjoy any of it when I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the King's Gate."

-Esther 5:9-13 (The Message)

My initial thoughts were along the lines of who does this Haman guy think he is...he needs to chill out. I mean you can't go throwing parties every time somebody ignores you (we'd all be having lots of parties right?!). Talk about being maladjusted to society.

But, there is a lesson to be learned here. I think there are 2 important things to notice about Haman:

1. He buried his frustration. "But he held himself in and went on home" it says in the passage. He kept his mouth shut, but he buried his feelings. It's a catch-22 for Haman...say something hateful to Mordecai or push it down deep at the risk of exploding later. I can't tell you how many times I have done this in my life. I won't say anything because I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings, but I bury it and poisons my life. It robs me of happiness. 
2. His idea of ignoring his feelings was to throw a party and brag about himself. He hides behind the fanfare and his accomplishments. He has his beautiful wife by his side (never seen a picture of her...just a guess here). He talks about his promotion to a better career. His kids. His "famous" friends and acquaintances. And how the Queen had invited him to dinner. He thinks he's really something.
   
   In the end, he's miserable. For Haman, preoccupation equals unhappiness. He says, "But I can't enjoy any of it when I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the King's Gate."  
   
   Don't let preoccupation become worry in your life. You're not fully present when you are preoccupied. You never know...you might miss one of the best conversations because you are preoccupied.
   
   Choose to be fully present today...

Don't let the storm drown you out

There's a great song by a group called Casting Crowns that we did at church Sunday. It couldn't have been better timing.

"I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in"

It's crazy how from the get go of the morning, sin is there. And it keeps popping up throughout the day. It's there at lunch. It's there when you are working on a project. It's there when you drive home. It's there when you lie down at night.

Sin is trying to eat away at you...trying to tear you apart piece by piece...trying to ruin your life by reminding you of what you have done.

Good news: there is hope.

"He has taken our sins away from us as far as the east is from the west." -Psalm 103:12

Whenever you can't see the Truth because of sin blocking your vision, remember God has taken our sins away.

We are free...

New Stuff

Hey folks,

There are a couple of new things on the blog that I want to make you aware of:

1. Twitter button. If you click on the "follow me on twitter" button, you can...well...follow me on Twitter!
2. Follow me by e-mail. There is a blank box where you can input your email address to get updates that way instead of through Facebook or Twitter.
3. RSS feed. I have just recently discovered the joy that is a RSS feed...if you have a Gmail account, you can click on "Google Reader" and have all of the blogs that you follow there on one website. It is so convenient! There are other ways to receive RSS feeds, but this is the one that I am familiar with.
4. The bookshelf. I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was so neat. It's just a fun thing for me to put up, but it has a picture of the books that I am currently reading (right now, one of them is a book I want to read...just don't have a copy of it yet.)

So that's about it...I really appreciate all of you people that are reading this blog. It means a lot to me that people care about what I write.

(In other news, I'm thinking of making a specific Facebook page for the blog...thoughts?????)

The Loss of Identity

There's an episode of Spongebob Squarepants (stick with me...there is a point to be made) where he loses his work badge that had his name on it. He freaks out (of course) because he thinks he lost his identity. Now, we as educated, sophisticated human beings know that simply losing a name tag does not mean that you lose your whole identity.

For us, it takes something much more catastrophic or climactic.

We ask ourselves: Who am I? What is my role in this world? What is my identity?

Today I am asking myself these questions. Why you might ask? Well, because I feel a little lost today. Everybody headed back to school...except me (by everybody, I mainly mean my mom and sister).

I'm not a student.

I'm not a teacher.

Who. Am. I.

This is a difficult question to wrestle with at the moment because it's not that I don't want to be either of those things. As far as being a student goes, we can't afford for me to go to grad school right now. (Plus I want classroom experience before I try for a principal position...kind of makes sense, right?!) And I'm not teacher because I don't have a stinking job.

So maybe my new identity is one of unknowing, which is very uncomfortable for me. This does not follow the plan I had set for myself all along. Point taken...it's not about MY plans after all.

Whatever You're Doing

Do you ever wonder at times what God is doing?

I often find myself thinking (I hesitate to say questioning here) about what God is up to in my life. I wonder about what story He is creating for me. I wonder how He is weaving together the miscellaneous strings that are in my life.

Right now, there is a lot of chaos and confusion in my life. I'm drifting, wandering, somewhat lost. That's where I am in my story right now. Trying to find my way.

There's a song by Sanctus Real called "Whatever You're Doing." It's about not knowing what God is up to in your life, but knowing that this mess of life is His and He is doing something with it.

"Whatever you're doing, inside of me

It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace

Though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see

I'm giving in to something heavenly"

I believe that God knows what He's doing. Even when I can't see it or hear it or feel it. All I can see is chaos, but there's a bigger picture that is beyond my vision. My eyes are out of focus, and I can't see what He's up to.

But, I still trust Him...do you?

The importance of keeping track

One of the most recent topics that I have written about is related to goals. I talked about the importance of setting them. But I failed to mention something very important.

You need to find a way to keep track of your goals.

This is crucial, and I can't believe I forgot to comment on it. Keeping track of your goals is important for two reasons:

1. It helps you know where you are.

2. It helps you know what you need to tweak.

For example, one of my goals for August is to lose 5 lbs. When I weighed myself on Monday, I found out where I was. Which was far away. I also learned that I need to step up my game if I want to accomplish my goal. Which unfortunately means no chocolate pecan pie for me. (At least not every night!)

I always write mine down in my Moleskine notebook (you can find these at Target and Barnes & Noble), so that I can easily find them. My challenge to you is to find a method that works for you and implement it. You might find that you are more aware of where you are in accomplishing your goals and let you know what to tweak for future benefit.

Not if, but when

I’m a huge baseball fan. I’ve grown up playing it in the backyard with my brother and sister (mostly my brother). My mom likes to tell the story of how my dad sat me up when I was like 10 months old to watch the first ever night game at Wrigley Field. I bet that I have spent about 50% of my waking hours watching and keeping track of the Atlanta Braves. I love pulling for my team.

And right now, there’s a player for the Braves (Dan Uggla) who has a 31 game hitting streak. For those of you who are not baseball aficionados, this is an extremely long time. To play in 31 games and get at least one hit in each of those is very rare. He has the longest streak this season. One question that people are asking about this streak is:

When is it going to end?

Not if. Because there is no way Uggla can continue to get one hit in the remaining 50 something games. It. Is. Impossible. Thus, the question becomes about when it will end.

In life, there are many circumstances that can be answered by with an “if.”

If I get a job…

If we can have a baby…

If I go back to school…

I want to challenge you to change those “ifs” to “whens.” It can make all the difference in the world when you do.

Why You Should Never Give Up

This morning, I was reading in my Bible...I was in the book of John in chapter 5. It's the story of the sick man by the pool. Even in Bible times, pools were awesome...this one was particularly cool because it was a healing pool. This sick man waited all day every day for someone to stir the pool because right after that you get in and be healed. What a great pool!

(this is not the actual pool...do not be fooled by the awesomeness that is this pool)

Something important that can be grasped from this story is the idea of never giving up. There are 3 critical components to this story that make it worth taking a closer look:

1. The man desired change. He wanted to be healed. He wanted to get to the pool. He wasn't happy with his situation, and he wanted to try and fix it.

2. The man had tried many times, but someone else beat him to it. Someone was always quicker. His previous failures were interfering with his ability to achieve the present goal.

3. The man believed when told he was healed. Can you imagine what must be going through his head when Jesus told him to get up? "Yeah right, get up and walk. Like I haven't heard that one before." It's like when you are waiting on someone to unlock the door to a store, and this smart alleck comes up behind you and tries to open the door. Hello!! Obviously it's locked or you would've gone inside. Jerk. But the sick man decides to try it anyway with a sliver of hope running through his mind. And it worked. He picked up his mat and walked away. The door to the store was not locked after all. You could go in and not stand out in the cold.

There are many things in this life that we will find difficult. It may be finding a job, trying to have a baby, or stepping out into the world on your own. You will want to give up. You will want to turn around with your tail between your legs and run home.

DON'T.

The Power of a Dream

This afternoon I had a dream...no, I wasn't taking a nap (that was yesterday), but I was having a conversation with someone. This particular person told me that they had read my book review and thought that I was a good writer (not trying to toot my own horn here...there is a point to me telling you this). This person then proceeded to state five words that may potentially change my life:

"You should ______ ___ _______."

Ok, I can't tell you what this person suggested I do (nor am I going to tell you who this was, in case you noticed). Because if I tell you, then I might have to actually do it. I would be held accountable, and I'm not ready for that pressure just yet.

The point is (I know you're relieved I finally got here) that there was a dream planted in me this afternoon. I've become obsessed with it. I haven't been able to think about much else all day...it's incredible. I feel like a little kid. But dreams aren't merely ideas that float around in your head. You care about your dreams. They are personal. They mean something to you.

Dreams are powerful things. They challenge us to move, create, think. The power of a dream is that it calls you to action. I had always had this thought hanging around in the back, deep, dark depths in my mind. But when I heard it said out loud by someone else, it was as if something in my heart opened up. A dream was born. And it has a firm grasp on me right now.

What are dreaming about right now?

An "Untitled" Book Review

In exchange for writing a book review for this blog, I received a complimentary copy of the book.

            Blaine Hogan’s Untitled offers a refreshing look into the multidimensional world of creativity. Hogan works as a creative arts director for Willow Creek Community Church and has a background in theatre.

            Hogan begins the book with a metaphor of the blank page. “The blank page represents the murky space before the bubbling idea has enough form to be named…” Throughout the book, the underlying theme is that the creative process requires work. To go from a blank page to a story worth telling means that you have to be creating something. Hogan repeatedly states that execution is more important than simply having an idea, and execution is dirty work because sometimes you get rejected. At the same time, you can’t undersell your idea. That’s the cheap way out. You have to dig down and commit everything to your own ideas.  

            Hogan outlines the book in a way that allows the ideas to flow from point A to point B. There are no “chapters”; rather, there are “movements.” They all touch on important factors about creativity, like the necessity of having art come from your heart. The connection between art and God is a clear theme in this book. One with which I wholeheartedly agree. Hogan believes our expression or art reflects our relationship with God. Hogan states, “Our art…becomes our confession.” I think this is a beautiful statement. What better way to honor God than with something as precious as art.

             Untitled wraps up with the emphasis Hogan places on never giving up. He says that resistance is trying to destroy any creative ideas you may have. You have to face your inner critic and throw it away. Hogan includes a refreshing story about when he worked as a youth arts camp. He noticed the children were having trouble facing their inner critics. He told them to think of it as if it is there on their shoulders. Every morning, they would grab this critic and throw him out in the alleyway. Hogan suggests using a similar tactic when you start to hear your inner critic throwing some resistance your way.

            Untitled is an enjoyable, thoughtful, and unique treatise on Blaine Hogan’s ideas related to the creative process. It is wonderfully written and is full of humor and wit. Hogan weaves in personal anecdotes and stories to help clarify any ideas or notions that he presents. It is a thought-provoking piece that will challenge the way you think about creativity. 

Thoughtful Thursday

I'm addicted to reading whatever Don Miller writes. Seriously, he's that good. His words make me think, feel, laugh, cry, and wonder like nobody else's words do. They make me want to take action, do something, or create something beautiful.

Now this isn't a Don Miller praise session (although it may seem like it based on the first paragraph). But I do want to attempt to describe a concept that he writes about often. And that is the idea of “story.”

Story is what we do with our life.

Story is the ups and downs that occur in our life.

Story is how you react to those ups and downs.

You can have a good story or a bad story. It’s up to you.

What’s your story?

Morning Honey

Growing up, my mom made us watch a lot of old television shows. Andy Griffith, The Waltons, and Leave it to Beaver were on regular programming at our house. One of my favorite episodes of The Andy Griffith Show is when this married couple goes to Andy to seek counseling because they can't get along. And what does the wise sheriff suggest they do? Well talk nice to each other of course!

He instructs them to start their morning with a nice greeting. "Morning honey." "Morning dear." It takes the couple several mornings to get used to this, but it eventually changes the way they treat each other.

In the movie "Fireproof," the main character (Caleb...not my hubby, a different one) receives a book from his dad called The Love Dare. This book offers different challenges for each day during a 40 day period. Can you guess what the first dare is? You got it. Don't speak anything negative to your spouse. Sounds simple. But it's not.

Shouldn't I be nicest to my husband and close friends/family? Shouldn't they have priority over the random people we see at the grocery store/utility office/any place with customer service? I'm humiliated to say that I will be OVERLY nice and smiley (is that even a word?) to a clerk that I don't even know, and then turn around and snap at my hubby. For no reason at all. I speak to him worse than I do a stranger. And it's not just him...I do this to my family and friends as well. Ridiculous.

I'm tired of being hateful. I like to think that I'm a pretty nice person and easy to get along with (hold the ego down now). So today, I'm trying out that "speak nicely" part of the dare. I think it can change the way I treat the ones that I love.

Will you join me?

3 Requirements for Effective Goal Setting

I am such a list person. I have mentioned here before about how my hubby laughs at me for making so many lists. (crossing "write blog post" off the list now...)

Along with my love of lists comes a love of making goals. I like to make a goal so that I can accomplish them. Checking it off my list makes me feel like I did something. In the past, my goals have been all over the place as far as content goes. But I have recently learned more about making better goals. Here are three requirements for effective goal-setting:

1. Make it relevant- You don't want to set a goal to lose weight if you are already healthy. It just doesn't make sense to waste your mental or physical energy on such a task. You also wouldn't make a goal to become a professional football player if you have never touched a pigskin in your entire life. Be smart about what goals you want to make. Don't make a goal just for the sake of having a goal. Make it one that is relevant to your life.

2. Make it measurable- This is such an overlooked aspect of goal setting. How many people have you heard say "Oh, I want to lose some weight"? This is a big no, no. You need to have a measurable goal. Instead, you could rephrase that statement into "I want to lose 10 pounds." You know what you are trying to accomplish. You have something with which you can gauge your improvement.

3. Make it have a due date- This goes along with #2. Not only should you have a measurable goal, but you need to give yourself a "I need to have this done by _____" date. The people that say they want to lose some weight never do because the goal is not measurable and it does not have a due date. Due dates give you an end point. They give you the final destination of your goal. I can't overstate the importance of having a due date. They are THAT crucial.

I always like to make goals at the beginning of each month and have them due at the end of the month. For example, I want to have a consistent job by the end of the month. I want to lose 5 lbs this month. But I also have made other goals with a due date farther along, such as I want to read the Help by the movie release day. (note to self: look up when the movie comes out...could affect when I accomplish this goal)

Goals keep us focused. They keep us going down the right path to our accomplishments. They give us something to aim for.

I hope this helps you to make better goals for the month of August.
What are some of your goals?

How to Do Anything

I recently watched this TED video about a guy who decided he would different things for 30 days, a la Morgan Spurlock. (Here's the video).

The whole theme of the video is that you can do anything if you say "I'll try ________ for 30 days." How simple, yet effective. Think of something (doesn't have to be difficult, although it can be) that you've always wanted to do. Now do it for 30 days. That's it. You can quit on day 31 if you want to. But I have a feeling you might keep it up. For Matt Cutts, it was riding his bike to work and writing a novel. For you, it might be dieting and exercising. Or ____________. You fill in the blank.

And since it's August 1st...you'll have a nice, smooth ending point in August 30th.

It's just 30 days....

What are you doing??

Never Going Back to OK

Have you ever been at a place in your life where everything is going good? When all things are going the way you plan them? I'm sure you have. The mountaintop. The high. The "I'm going to make it" feeling. These times help you to feel comfortable with your life. You feel calm. At ease.

But, I've noticed something. I hardly ever grow...whether it be spiritually, mentally, or emotionally...during these periods in my life.

I grow when I start to lean on God because I have no other choice. I grow when I don't make decisions based on my own desires. I grow when I've got no other option but to choose to follow the light out of the darkness.

In the "all is well" periods of my life, I become complacent. Nonchalant. Lukewarm. Which, according to the Bible, is not good.

“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

-Revelation 3:15-16

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be "spit out" of anyone's mouth, much less God's. To Him, there is nothing worse than (wait for it) not caring. At the very least, be cold. Care enough to not care...if that makes sense. But better yet, be hot. Be on fire. Don't settle for being cold or lukewarm.

When you're not on the mountaintop (which is 9 times out of 10 if we're honest), choose to care. Choose to fight you're way out with God's help. Once you catch that fire, you'll realize that you never want to go back to being ok.

Borrowing from Pete Wilson

Today, I'm going to piggyback off a post I read from one of my favorite bloggers...Pete Wilson. Pete is a pastor of a church in Nashville, Cross Point. He is also the author of Plan B, an incredible book that I am currently absorbed in reading.

Pete wrote about monotony today. You know...what you do everyday, over and over, repeatedly. Like washing the dishes by hand (no dishwasher in the Hardiman household). Or cooking dinner every night. Feeding my kitties and cleaning up after them (they are some dirty felines). More generally: my "chores."

These things, while they get boring, are essential in maintaining a clean and healthy household. They are little, but important and necessary actions that I need to do if I want to be happy inside my house. It would drive me crazy if there were dishes everywhere. It would make Caleb angry if we had take-out every night (not to mention the toll it would take on our waistlines). And let's not even consider the filthiness that would come from neglecting my sweet purring babies.

You may see where I'm going with this. Monotony can be important. Monotony can be necessary. So today, choose to look pass the everyday occurrences in your life and embrace the joy that you can find in them.

What do you consider monotonous that is also a necessary part of your life?

Come As You Are

You don't have to wear designer clothes. You don't have to listen to Christian music.

You don't have to have a nice house or a nice car. You don't have to be "good."

There are no requirements...you just have to accept.

That's the beauty of being in a relationship with God. You just say yes.

You come just as you are...He takes you in and loves you. He extends his love and mercy to you. And, a funny thing happens when you accept this grace. You start to WANT to change. You want to be more like him. You want to make him happy. You want to imitate this love that you have received and extend it to others. It's a beautiful thing.

Come just as you are...

I Got Nothing

Seriously...I can't think of anything to write about.
Writer's block (well I'm not a writer but I have dreams).
I knew it would happen eventually after writing in this blog for awhile.

I'm trying to be ok with this fact. There will be days when I just don't know what to write about. (There are days now when I don't know what to THINK about...much less write.) I guess part of my perfectionist tendency is to want to have something witty, sarcastic, and moving each and every time I log on to my blog. I want to impact somebody who reads this with the words that I write. So I guess I feel guilty when I don't put something worthy of being written on here. I feel like I'm letting my readers down (whoever they may be), and I don't like that feeling...at all.

So I'm sorry if you came here looking for an answer or something good. I'm afraid I just don't have it in me today. I guess I could have written about how my grandmother is having surgery today and how terrifying that is for me/my family or about how it stinks that I can't find a job right now (boy, that doesn't sound like anything else I've written now, does it?). But I couldn't make those blog entries good enough. Granted, having everyone pray for my grandmother would have been beneficial (please do this anyway), but I know some of you would check out and maybe never come back. And I don't want that at all. Frankly, I'm pretty sure my Nana doesn't want me to write that much about her...she's pretty darn humble. So, I didn't write about her.

I had writer's block...